Right now I have a million things that I really need to be dealing with.  My kitchen is a horror show (since I cook for DOTP on Sunday, Monday & Tuesday, I can't bear to deal with it for a few days after I get all the meals delivered).   There is mail in probably 6 different places in my house that I need to gather, sort and deal with.  That's on top of the bills already piled in the bill "section" of my desk.  There's laundry, there's grocery shopping, emails I have put off responding to for weeks, toys everywhere, a flooded guest-house that needs to be remediated today, and so on and so on.  But, thanks to some very hard work over last weekend, the office - where I'm standing right now - is very organized and clean.  Pictures are hung on the walls, there is nothing on the floor, notices are hung neatly on the pinboard, and there is a general appearance of good house-keeping.  I stay in my computer room for long enough, writing this blog, maybe all of those other problems will somehow sort themselves out.
I actually have been trying really hard lately to be realistic about what I can accomplish with the time I have, and get help with the things that I know I can't.  It's been a little hard admitting to myself that I am not just a stay-at-home mom, even though I am still at home.  The dinner idea that started out as something I could do in a few hours on Monday has changed into something that takes up at least 20 hours of my time every week, even if a lot of that time is on Sunday or in the middle of the night on Monday.  This last week I had 40 orders - which is awesome - but I was basically cooking for 48 hours straight.  While all of the cooking is going on, I'm also trying to feed my own kids, keep up with their sports, activities, emails from teachers, potty-training Ruby (at her insistence, over my strenuous objection since she's so young), and all of that other stuff we all do every day.  As always, I find myself in awe of women who do all of this and work full-time outside the home - they must be beyond tired all of the time.  One of my good friends is getting ready to go back to work after maternity leave with her third child, and just hearing how early she has to get everyone out of the house with lunches packed and clothes on and extra diapers and bottles and changes of clothes for baby and homework in book bags makes we slightly panic-y, and it's not even me!  I feel like I would just need to stay up all night in order to make it out the door with all of that done.
Last night Matt and I had one of those (sadly) frequent discussions where I freak out because I feel like I can't handle everything, and he calmly reassures me that alot of the things I am freaking out about are not that important, and I get mad because I think they are important, and then after arguing for 45 minutes over that, we agree on our shared priorities - spending time with our kids, our health (ie, exercise), spending time with our friends and family, etc.  I know that those are the important things, and I know that I will not look back 40 years from now and remember that there was always a crumb-layer on the floor of the kitchen (why I am the only person in my house who is bothered by this), but it's so hard to keep all of that at bay from day to day and focus on that big-picture stuff.  The little stuff just eats away at the edges until it all but consumes your time and energy.  I don't really have a neat way to wrap this up - no insight, so maybe you can share your tips and advice.
In the meantime, here's a picture of Ruby I just took - she is so done with diapers that she prefers to wear them on her head - somewhere in between a fashion statement and a really gross idea.  But she's pretty cute even with a diaper on her head!