TMI?

So, blogging is sort of hard, I think, because it's hard to write openly about things when people you know - friends, neighbors, family members, might be reading.  I don't really care if people who I will never meet know every detail of my life, but it gets dicey when I know that someone I do know may read it.  There start to be lots of subjects that are off-limits - nothing too "personal" in case my family reads it, nothing related to Matt's work after his patients started telling him things about Ruby that they read on the blog (which is awesome, but obviously means I would never want to write anything about his work situation - which he loves!), nothing too revealing about friends who may not want other people knowing things about them, nothing about my parents or Matt's parents, and on and on.  I find it difficult to write about politics or religion, and it's preachy and annoying when people write about the environment or things like that, so I think that pretty much leaves me to choose between writing about the weather or about different cities I've lived in.  Fun.  I can - and mostly do -write about my kids, of course, but then there's always this concern that I'm misrepresenting them or making it sound like they are the worst kids ever who drive me crazy every second of the day.

A few months back, I realized that I was doing that with respect to my writing about Ruby and her adjustment, because people would constantly refer to all the "problems" I was having with her adjustment.  They would ask, very sympathetically, how I was doing with everything.  And, of course, I was writing openly about some of the struggles of parenting three kids, one of whom had only been with us a few months.  At the time, I felt like I was really struggling in some ways, but there were also lots of great moments and happy days.  I just didn't particularly think anyone would want to read about some nice, boring day where everything went really smoothly.  I felt like I would try to share this other side of my life, since I think a lot of moms - adoptive or otherwise - have similar struggles and dark moments, and I always appreciate reading or hearing about those since they make me feel better about all of my short-comings and unperfect encounters with motherhood.  You know, you see someone at the park or at the PTA, and you see this side they are presenting to the world.  I'm always curious about the other side. Whenever that book came out called "Tuesdays with Morrie" (a great book, even if it was super inspirational), my mom and I kept joking about the book they didn't write - "Wednesdays with Morrie" where you find out that he's a total jerk to waitstaff in restaurants or refuses to stop driving even though he has ALS (if we seem like total heartless biyatches, remember that my dad has Parkinson's Disease for 30 years, and we love him, but he has his moments).

Anyway, I tried to find some neutral or upbeat things to write about, and I found that I wasn't really interested in writing about myself and my life in that way - does anyone really want to hear about how I handily solved a parenting dilemma in between taking my kids to sing at an old folks' home and sewing them each a new costume for make-believe playtime (3:30 - 4 pm every day) out of organic cotton that we purchased on a family field trip to a local shearing?  No, I didn't think so.  That would just make you feel sort of annoyed with me for being obviously more into my kids than you are into yours, and also feel like I was trying way too hard and my kids would probably end up hating me by the time they reach middle school (where they would, of course, not be going, since I would be home schooling all of them).  So, even though I did not do any of those things and never would, I do have great days with my kids - or, more often, great moments in days that are both hard and good at the same time.  I do have fun with them.  I do love them to pieces and think they are obviously the most beautiful, smartest, most talented kids in the world.  They are definitely going to be way cooler than your kids, and that's saying alot, because your kids are pretty cool too.

So I have a little journal where I write all of those sappy things down for them to read when they get older.  That's where you'd find the Pollyanna version of their childhoods where Finn "was so awesome in basketball game today - could not believe he is so fast!!!"  Or where Gus "is getting really interested in reading!!  He keeps showing off by spelling the word "h-a-m" - so adorable!!!"  Or where we are so proud that Ruby "is totally on top of the whole potty-training thing - she has figured out that she gets a mini marshmellow every time she pees, so she has mastered the art of peeing about a teaspoon of pee every 20 minutes or so!!  Hilarious!"  This will be where the children learn about themselves as children - how special they were, how smart, how loved, how funny.  I want them to know that, and I know it, but I'm betting that you, dear reader, think your own kids are the bee's knees too, so you're not as interested in hearing me brag about mine.  It's more fun to share the other stuff, and I think I'll keep on doing that.  And then later I'll start some anonymous blog to talk about all my friends and my family behind their backs, and sex, and money and all of that fun stuff!