GUEST BLOG!!!!! Family Planning

YAY!  I have finally succeeded in twisting my friend Tara's arm to write a guest blog for me!  We have been BFFs since 5th grade - so many memories I could write a whole blog about that!  She is a supermom to 3.5 year old Gage and 10 month old Calla - both adorable, sweet kids who I frequently despair that I don't see more often.  Tara and her family live in Austin, so we try to get together whenever we are in Texas, which turns out to be quite often.  As any mom knows, one of the best things about motherhood is having great colleagues, and we have had so much fun on the journey together.  Many of my own posts come from conversations I have with Tara, and with other friends, and we talk so much about the highs and lows of all the day to day stuff of life with kids.  So lucky to have a friend like that!  

So, without further ado, here is Tara's blog:

Family Planning 

I’m Tara, the friend in Austin, who is a married, stay at home mommy to 2 and half kids. The half would be a very needy Jack Russell Terrier who demands a surprising amount of my time.

I think back fondly to the days of starting a family and planning out the rest of my days. All the questions I answered with such unwavering confidence: “How many kids are you planning on having?” 2, of course. Maybe 3 if we’re feeling cheeky. “Are you planning on having an epidural?” Yes, just as soon as I’m at exactly an 8, I’ll have an epidural and the rest will be cake. “What are your plans for after the baby’s born—will you be a stay at home mom?” Yes, and I’m gonna be so good at it. Please. Even the term “birth plan” makes me chuckle. That was the beginning of my life becoming unplanned, just as soon as Baby Gage showed up. 

Nothing in my life can be planned. I “planned” (ha-ha) a much-anticipated weekend away with Baby Calla in Houston to see Claire at her parents’ house and another friend. I’ve been hearing and reading about Ruby for several months now, along with the rest of you, and really wanted to meet this amazing little chickadee in person! I expended all sorts of mental energy preparing for this trip. All plans were A Go: I was packed a few days ahead of time (requiring that I somehow not wear any of my 3 rotating outfits I live in), gotten Calla bathed and groomed, cut those sharp little talons that seem to regenerate overnight on tiny babies, filled up the gas tank, managed to shave my legs and pluck the unruly eyebrows, went to the grocery store to stock the fridge for the boys while we would be gone, etc, etc, etc. I’d even remembered the tiny little travel toothpaste that usually never makes it into my bathroom kit.
 
Bam!!! The day before we were scheduled to drive to Houston, she wakes up at 5am with a fever. I’ve learned that when I just want to sit down and cry and feel so sorry for myself, as happens from time to time, I need to just keep moving forward…so I packed Calla up that morning and took her and the four-legged half-child out for a morning stroll to plan my strategy. Here’s the conversation in my head: “Hmmm…Surely I couldn’t risk getting Ruby and my other friend’s child sick, I needed to cancel the trip. Maybe I could super-impose on my husband and he could watch both kids all weekend?? Maybe this is just that old ear infection rearing its ugly head again, maybe I’ll take her to the doctor and get it checked out. Maybe she won’t sleep both nights in Houston and keep our hosts awake. Maybe I’ll never take another trip again?? Why couldn’t this all have gone according to plan??” Letting go of a well-laid plan can be exhausting. It’s like a mental roller coaster. 

3 hours later and $80 in the hole: co-pay plus antibiotics for my son, who just rode along with us but happened to have an ear infection of his own (yup, now he definitely needs tubes), I found out from the doc that she would probably be just fine in Houston. Whew, all that what-iffing makes my head spin and wears me out. But I sort of have to smile at the feeling of sweet remembrance of making plans that I was so confident in. I have slight working-friend envy when I think of other women who can plan a 2:00 team meeting in their office and know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that they will most definitely be able to show up for the meeting. I’m also slightly bitter that they’ll be sitting down the entire time. 
I’ve come to realize two very important points: Nothing can be fully planned when you have young ones at home, and always have all the kids’ ears checked each and every time you go to the doctor’s office.
So anyway, Ruby is really such a doll. Those big brown eyes could melt butter.


So glad I braved the drama and decided to go to Houston anyway. Claire and I are planning another get-together in June. Good luck to us…