She actually sent me this last week, and I didn't know whether to post it, due to the fact that she had a big paragraph about how cool Matt and I are, and even though I know that having a blog is pretty self-absorbed in the first place, I didn't want to come off as a total head case. "Here's my blog, all my ideas, pictures of my kids, and, oh, by the way, here's how awesome my friends think I am!" However, after a little tactful editing, I really wanted to share it, because it was interesting for me to read this from her perspective.
I could go on and on about how awesome Paige and her husband are and how much they impact the world for good. She is an awesome mom, a camp director, and one of the most positive people I know, and she is always setting little goals for herself to be even more so (but not in an annoying, goody-two-shoes kind of way). They were both so supportive of us during the whole adoption process, and they love on Ruby all the time, but I never knew that they had considered adoption as a possibility. And maybe still do. At the time we started the adoption process, we were a little nervous about doing something so outside of our experience, and we didn't have any close friends who had adopted from Africa (although, happily, now we know lots of wonderful people who have!). I remember thinking that, of all the people I knew, Paige and Andy might actually be able to be convinced to do it with us. I jokingly suggested it to her, even while at the same time realizing that you don't just adopt a baby to have a fun adventure with a friend. And I really never thought about it after that, so it was funny to read that she chewed on it for a while. Two years and one baby later, I selfishly am happy that they don't have a new baby and therefore can shower Ruby with as much love and attention as her highness deserves. We really are lucky, and that's no joke!
That's Paige, surrounded by good-looking men, as always!
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It's hard to believe that it's nearly been two years since Matt and Claire shared their big news with us. We were standing around the kitchen at a little "summer's ending" get together, and I was talking about my idea for starting a "Happiness Club*", when Claire announced in an excited but "oh by the way"-casual way "we're adopting a baby from Ethiopia" and then she added "you should do it with us" as if she had just said "Hey, I'm going to go get my nails done. Let's get yours done too." Part of me (the part that had already had a little wine) was ready to just jump in with equal enthusiasm. After all, I never want to miss a good party, and getting a baby from Ethiopia sounded like fun. Of course, a bigger part of me thought better of it. I have two kids who are finally in elementary school and are becoming more and more independent each day. I'm just getting used to being able to be somewhat independent again myself.
So, obviously I didn't rush out and file adoption papers,but the thing is, from time to time I really considered it. I looked at adoption websites and casually asked Matt and Claire probing questions about the process and expected outcome. I thought seriously about how adopting would change my life and how adoption would change someone else's. We all want to make a positive impact on the world, and as I told my husband Andy, we're pretty good parents. Maybe adopting was something we could do to help. But not now.
I know from talking to Claire and from reading her blog that she doesn't believe or buy into the idea of adopting just to save a poor starving child. I know that she and Matt understand the magnitude of what they've done and how they've helped Ruby, but they see it as an equally reciprocal relationship. They really wanted something out of the deal too, and it wasn't just to feel like they'd helped someone or made a positive impact on the world. They wanted a daughter. They wanted another cuddly babe (which she REALLY is), and they wanted to move closer to what felt like completing their family. I also think that they wanted to take a risk and have an adventure (a much bigger one than opening an ice house or putting condos on top of Wal-Mart "Wal-dos").
I'm starting to ramble on a little, so let me see if I can circle back and bring this altogether. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I haven't really known Claire and Matt for very long. I don't think that it's even been three years since they moved into my neighborhood and Matt diagnosed me with Cat Scratch Fever. But in many ways I feel I've known them forever.
Andy and I are no closer to adopting a baby than we were back in September of 2008, but thanks to Matt and Claire and Finn and Gus and Ruby, I am a lot closer to starting the Happiness Club.
* Anyone can be a part of the Happiness Club. All you have to do is laugh with a friend, smile, take a friend (or stranger) an unexpected gift, let your heart feel joy and PASS IT ON!
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